Borrowed Time...

Love: Hmm...[Silence]

One thing I realized that I didn't do yesterday was let you in on the details on "Ghana Revisited." I was going to save it for the date; however, I had an interesting interaction with him so why not.  GR is a little bit older than me (as in older than I would normally feel comfortable with), educated, in the medical technician field with one child. He was born and raised in Ghana and is very dedicated to his culture. Pause~ This is why I love people who appreciate other cultures. Because as you recall we met outside of a soca party. I'm not one to swoon but an open mind....(Sigh) Play~ Now...with all his African sexy he def has some archaic principles of marriage and life. Which is why on our first conversation I felt like I was speaking to Idi Amin! I was like oh no sir...But alas he kept talking and let me know that's the what he experienced not who he is. So I digress..

Last Night
Last night while working late on my deal at work, GR called. As stated before this man loves to talk. So when he called I was sincerely happy for the break. Anyway, he begins to talk and talk and talk and then he says "Are you listening?" Pause~ When I'm working or just busy, I am listening. However, you know I am working and I know I'm working....so if I'm not answering/participating I am listening intently to offer some semblance of participation later. Play~ So I answer and let him know "Of course I'm listening." Now I'm all for mindless talk sometimes. I usually bask in the revelry of talking a lot about absolutely nothing. But....hmmm all I really wanted from GR was some light conversation. Not the typical we just met conversation about life, love and the pursuit of happiness.

So in his haste to tell me that he wants a girlfriend and more kids I immediately stopped him and told him "Dude you are on borrowed time. Don't invest too much time in me because that's not where I am." Pause~ I really do want romance and all that; however, after "man" and that whole tirade I just do NOT have the energy to invest or be invested in. Play~ Well after saying that, GR was highly offended. Like HIGHLY! And really, I couldn't understand. What had I done wrong? Was it something I said? (lol). Well after that, he told me the following [Sidebar: I wrote it down for just this occasion].

"You women have no idea what it means to be committed to anything! Of all you want is work and success then buy a vibrator and don't pay men any mind."

Well......I....never.....

So after taking a pause to write that statement in my Moleskin aka My Red Poppycock Pause~ don't ask Play~ I politely said the following:

"Women are very happy to be committed. We are committed to a myriad of things like our careers, family, friends, hobbies, relationships and personal upkeep. If it bothers you that women don't revolve around you or appreciate 'your good thing' then that's something for you to access within yourself. For instance, a man told me I was fat. Simple as that. And after taking it in I did notice I could stand to lose a couple pounds so I did. As for that vibrator comment...don't wish such a thing on yourself. Double A batteries and a rabbit will beat you everyday and twice on Sundays."

Now...if you have been reading my blog (especially my response to Crix yesterday) you will know that polite is not my forte. However, I had to conduct myself this way because I wanted him to know that I am not the stereotypical West Indian black woman that will want to cuss up your ass at a drop of a hat. In the end he did apologize in some way or the other but it did lead me to ask the following question.

- Why do black women always have to fall in some "box" (angry or submissive)?

Anyway readers, I do not know how to appreciate GR yet. And I am still planning to go on the date. So we shall see.

Until next time,
Annie P

Dry Dry Dry

So I wanted to speak about Mr. Crix some more today because he said something very interesting. After this morning's post, I managed to get a text from Crix that completely took me by surprise. The text stated,

"If you are going to ignore me at least have the decency to let me know that you do not like me."

Now time for a little back story. So as you read earlier, I definitely had a weekend that was high in action and low in sleep. Friday night, Crix text messages me to "hang out by his house." Pause~ There is one thing I despise in dating. DO NOT INVITE ME TO YOUR HOUSE TO HANGOUT! This is not undergrad and we have not known each other long enough to even THINK about taking that step. I just can not and will not go to someones house for our 2nd (count 'em) 2nd date. Play~ So upon seeing this I answered and politely stated I was in a meeting and had plans after so that was not going to happen. NOW...in the reality that I live in, if someone is polite you usually are polite back. Well apparently this dry dry ass man does not feel the same. So while in the party, where I was getting white girl wasted, Crix managed to message me every which way except via smoke signal.

Well readers, I hate molestation via technology. Like I get it...I'm awesome! I know this and he knows this; BUT the absence of that sensor that says "hey man stop texting so much...she may not be answering because shes doing something"  really taints my desire to date you. So needless to say, he got scarce responses throughout the remainder of the weekend. Pause~ I hate being bullied...as a matter of fact, my only response ever has been to be confrontational about it. Which makes me love the fact that my sister calls me "gargoyle" because I can get really ugly really quickly. Play~

So fast forward to today and umm 1:30PM. I leave my office to go grab some lunch quickly before my 2PM meeting and what happens..CALL FROM CRIX! So I pick up and this is how it goes.

Crix: So you weren't going to answer. Pause~ Whatever happened to Hello/Good Afternoon. FUCK YOU I DESERVE A SALUTATION! Play~

Annie P: Hello to you too. And no I was not going to answer. I don't respond to bullying.

Crix: No one was trying to bully you [Annie P]. I just need to know what the status is. Pause AGAIN~ Status? What status? One date...no conversation..no promises...WTF? Play~

Annie P: I do not know what "status" you speak of. As a matter of fact my man, I don't even know if this is going to work because I don't think we mesh.

Crix: I know we do. And to let you know I do like you and your friend told me you would act this way.

Annie P: Excuse me?

Crix: [Mrs. Indécis]! She told me you would refuse so I decided that I'm not letting go that easy.

Annie P: Oh she did..did she! Well let me stop the myths before they continue. I am not "refusing" you because I don't recognize potential. Trust you have a great deal of potential; HOWEVER hommie you are dry like a fucking bag of Crix. You have zero conversation and zero personality. In other words, I am pink and you are grey. I am sunshine and you are overcast. That is why I'm not giving you any play. And as for your partner in crime [Mrs. Indécis] the two of you can plot on some other person. So please just do us a favor and lose this number.

Crix: What the hell is a Crix?...one! Two, I didn't mean to offend you and I def know that someones character feeds off their company. So my "dryness" is a reflection of you. Pause~ Love when men do this. Its not me its you. Its not my fault its your fault. PUNK just recognize your short comings! Play~

Annie P: Well I sure am glad we figured that out. I'm the drag...yes! You are absolutely right. Bye now. Thanks!

~ End Scene ~

So now, he's gone...which in all honesty I knew he would be. BUT now to deal with this girl, Mrs. Indécis. HOW DARE SHE?!? Better yet, who the hell does she think she is to tell a guy that. Pause~ There is one rule that I hate that most women don't follow. When hooking your friend up, you are doing JUST that one action. So do not think that you should be the intermediary! You are not dating the person. You do not know that man outside of your friendship. So do NOT make assumptions. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WRONG! Play~ At this junction, I do not know how to deal with her. Like do I let her know that she is a dummy for even entertaining this chump? Or do I just learn, be angry and let bygones be bygones? Whatever!

Love for the day: Standing my your morals! If you know that someone you are dating/speaking to/seeing is a chump they are a chump. Case closed!
So long CRIX...and to the next woman good luck getting that dry mouth to be fun!

Back to juggling,
Annie P

The Annie P Weekend

So enough about other people let me tell you all about MY weekend. Something to keep in mind about Ms. Annie P is that no day is ever like the one before. Thankfully I have great company that keeps things mixed up on a regular day to day.

Well the weekend started off with a business meeting and a party with my fellow Angel members. NOW....the goal for that night was to go over the edge in more ways than one. And of course like any challenge all members grabbed the occasion with both hands and went for it! Needless to say, a bottle of Patron and three margaritas later Annie P was swimming in "liquid happiness." Pause~ Drinking with wonderful people will always be my favorite past time. However, I have been drinking for the past 35 days straight. So now Ms. Annie P is on a drinking hiatus. The time has come. Play~ Anyway, we are leaving this party and walking and of course there was a man who we shall call "Ghana Revisited." While in mid stumble...of course I stopped to talk to him. He tells me I'm cute blah blah blah...and then we exchange numbers at the car. Pause~ I HATE meeting people at a party for the following reasons. 1) Its dark so you can not properly assess their appearance (shallow but true). 2) You (the woman) are tipsy/drunk/nice and have your faculties but in my experience "piss poor" man decisions have been made on alcohol. And 3) my "double life" (as suitor likes to call it) can become a problem. Play~

So let me tell you about "Ghana Revisited"...A nice guy who, unlike "Crix" talks A LOT! As a matter of fact, he has A GREAT DEAL TO SAY! I mean I have the gift for gab...but that man didn't let me get in a word in. One thing I did love, is that he is completely dedicated to his son in every way (education, happiness, future, etc.). So we (well he) spoke on Saturday and it was nice. A date has been set and there will be details to come shortly.

Then....on Sunday while going to get a my mani/pedi action on I met this guy we will call "Driver." Now "Driver" is an interesting fellow. Very persistent and very opinionated. He is attractive and has a great deal of wit BUT he is Jamaican. Pause~ I'm from Grenada; therefore, I have no reason to be discriminatory towards any culture. HOWEVER, Jamaicans march by the beat of their own drums...Pointy shoes...linen....gold everywhere. So you should see the hesitation. Play~ So yes, very Jamaican. However, he is an accountant with a small firm and like me his weekend is his weekend. Pause~ One thing to know about me is that I am not afraid to Goggle any man who claims to be in the business atmosphere. If you are with a firm I should be able to find you. Play~ He is one who will be in the shirt and tie all day and then move to his "Mr. Vegas" movement once Friday night hits! Which by all means I respect. In the same suit as "Ghana Revisited" a date has been set and I'm sure there will be something to speak about soon.

So now I have these new men in my dating circle and I have realized that my juggling act has quickly turned into a man circus.

Hmm...
Annie P (the ring leader)

He Loves Me..He Loves Me Not?

The end! Nothing more to say....

Annie P

Married on Wednesday....Human on Thursday (Part II)

Ok so now we are to the heart of this story! As in previous posts, the love will come at the end.

The Date
So the "date" or rather "meeting...." Pause~ So when going on first dates I usually like the man to take some initiative in planning. Not so much because I want to gauge his money or anything trivial like that. But, essentially I am in a man's world where I assert myself and plan plan plan everyday. So in most cases, I usually like someone to tell me where and when I show up. Lazy...maybe! Play~ So we agree on a meeting place which was at the W Hotel in Times Square. I get there in my afterwork faboosh attire and he was there in his suit. Attractive guy, dressed very smart, average height, weight, and very intelligent. Anyway, we meet have a casual/awkward embrace and then sit at the bar. So we begin talking and this man ends up being DRY LIKE A FUCKING CRIX! {Definition: For the non-caribbean, Crix is a cracker that is terribly dry dry dry but oh so good with some guava jelly}. And it was weird because he has some personality and ambition but like his conversation stinks! So much so that I got EXHAUSTED trying to make conversation that I just ended the date early and blamed it on a meeting. Pause~ I usually do not do that; however, being that I saw that he liked me I couldnt blatantly hurt his feelings. Play~

In the end, he did say he wanted to do it again and that he would call. And call he did readers! Like EVERYDAY call! And even though he is a potential dating candidate, I just dont understand how someone with no conversation skills likes to call! UGH!

The Conversation with Mrs. Indécis
So like any good friend who hooks up their good friend Mrs. Indécis calls me the next day at EIGHT AM to discuss my date. Pause~ I work A LOT! Therefore, 8AM calls are not appreciated unless we have a scheduled conversation and/or event. Play~ So of course I tell her about "Crix" and how the date was bleh. And then she says (ironically) "[Annie P] marriage and love do not always come wrapped in exciting packages." Now...once she said it I was completely taken aback based on her exciting courtship/engagement. And immediately the question, "WTF DO YOU MEAN?!?!" left my mouth.

Because I know you all love to read actual conversations...this is how it went.

Mrs. Indécis: I mean in the end nothing is perfect and you should accept what is offered to you.

Annie P: Um no ma'am! Every dog has their day and if that was [Crix's] good day then shit Im def not interested. But where the hell is this coming from?

Mrs. Indécis: Well take my marriage for instance. Me and [husband] are going well but there are problems and goals that we never discussed before getting married.

Annie P: (insert sarcasm) Really? After three months you guys didnt speak about everything? (snickers)

Mrs. Indécis: Dont be an asshole! Its more like, [husband] has no interest in talking about kids, buying a home, moving up in his career. Like [Annie P] I need advice.

Annie P: Um to be honest, I dont know what to tell you. Those things you mentioned are major milestones for any person. So being that he wont even approach the topic is something I can not help you with. I think you need to activate the married women phone tree. Pause~ A while ago eight of my married friends started a "married/committed women phone tree." This was something you could rely on if you ever needed a "come to Jesus meeting" on life. Corny but very helpful. Play~

Mrs. Indécis: Ugh cant get on the phone with those bitches. They always want to tell you to grit your teeth and bear it. Pause~ I will agree with her on this one. Many of the women in that group are highly educated but do not work because their husbands make A LOT of money. So they usually have the same advice. Hence why its kind of disbanded. But you know on the one off you may find someone that can have some good advice. Play~

Annie P: Well I mean what will you do?

Mrs. Indécis: I dont know. This is getting annoying. But then again I feel like this is the price you pay to be married in 2011. Maybe this is as good as it gets.

Annie P: Girl I dont think so! Im sorry...in this day and age, as women, we do NOT have accept that. If being married means being unhappy then girl let that shit go! Im not tell you to break up with your husband but I know me and that would not go down.

Mrs. Indécis: Divorce? And prove everyone right? No I will deal! And [husband] isnt that bad. He just chooses to not answer some questions that I have regarding the future. When I bring up kids he says "we have time" but I dont think like that.

Annie P: Well in the case of kids I agree; but then again you have a husband and I do not. Women are having kids into their 40s. However, if this is something you want I think another conversation is in order BUT proceed with caution. You already know where he stands.

Mrs. Indécis: Ugh....I was happier when I was single and miserable. Pause~ STATEMENT OF THE YEAR! Play~

Annie P: [DEAFENING SILENCE]

Mrs. Indécis: Oh girl I gotta go...[husband] just walked in. Bye [click]

Is anyone as confused as I am....STILL?!?! Cause I know at the end of the conversation I was left with an empty feeling. Not so much for me but for her. And then, so many questions came to me:

- Is that what we think marriage is now a days?
- Do women actually think that things will automatically fall into place?
- How many women think this?
- Are my decisions of "no to marriage" justified off this one woman's experience?

I mean I was completely floored!

Fast forward to Tuesday (3/22) Pause~ Funny how things are happening in week intevals. Play~ I was having a gchat conversation with Fatal Angel. And she tells me the following statistic:

         "1 in 6 married women stated they were happier when they were single." ~ Tyra Banks Show

Whoa! So I guess her feelings are justified! But then that statistic (even though from an unreliable source...sorry Tyra) shows that society is forcing women to be married. For some reason, most women think that wearing that white dress and getting your groom to look at you lovingly means the next day he will come around and NOT be the same man you met and dated pre-proposal. Pause~ Annie P is a hopeless romantic. But in cases like this the cynical side of me comes out. I have a point. Play~

In conclusion, the title of this series "Married on Wednesday...Human on Thursday" was to manifest the idea that humans are just that...humans! So on to the love: I am who I am. No more no less. If being married means changing my goals/ambitions then I do not want to be married. I am much better than that!

Takeaway: Lets (men and women) work to find true happiness! Don't settle because you think "its time" or "you want kids" or "im getting older." Some of the best things in life are def worth waiting for!

Loving love but taking it slow!
Annie P

Married on Wednesday....Human on Thursday (Part I)

I want to start off today's blog post with a disclaimer.
- By no means does this post reflect any ill feelings towards the married, engaged or those in a 
committed relationship. This is simply a flow of thoughts that come straight off the top from Annie P. All parties in this post have been contacted and granted permission to be written about.

Whew..now that that is done. Today's love is geared towards my friends that are concerned not only with my well being but my happiness. So love for the day: Grateful for those that push me to the "happy every after."

So readers, I have a friend that I have known for over five years now that we shall call "Mrs. Indécis." Let me explain who this woman is to you all. Mrs. Indécis is a in her mid-twenties, beautiful, intelligent and a real go-getter in the world of education. She and I went to high school together, and even though we went to different undergraduate institutions we managed to stay very close friends.  Upon graduation, we both made the decision to come back to NYC to live and be fabulous. Now, upon moving back in 20XX, we were in very different places; meaning, I was with "man" and she was single and ready to mingle. Pause~ I have come to realize that upon graduating from undergrad a great deal of my friends were single. Now that I am single a great deal of them are in relationships....FUNNY right? Play~

So fast forward to the end of 2010. "Man" and I are quickly crumbling and no one but a select few know about it and then boom Mrs. Indécis calls me with "good news." And here is how that conversation went.

Annie P: Hey girl!

Mrs. Indécis: Oh.My.God [Annie P] you will never guess...(insert excitement) I'M ENGAGED 

Annie P: WHAT?!!? Who the hell were you dating to be engaged?

Mrs. Indécis: Well we haven't caught up in a while. And I know you and ["man"] are going through it so I didn't want to bother. Pause~ Love my friends for this. They know when to pause and let Annie P handle some stuff. Play ~

Annie P: Um yeah I guess but like engaged..I need a rewind

Mrs. Indécis: Well so you know I went to that party that you didn't want to go to at Gravity.

Annie P: WAIT....THAT WAS THREE MONTHS AGO...BITCH YOU MAD!?!?!?
Pause~ I am not one for judgement but I already felt like lunacy was quickly on the way. Play ~

Mrs. Indécis: Bitch don't hate. So anyway go in there with my cousin and this guy offers to buy me a drink. Now you know me, I don't do men buying me drinks ESPECIALLY in Gravity. However, when I was leaving he left to come out and introduce himself. So we talked briefly and I gave him my number and he called and I got his.

Annie P: Ooookkkkk

Mrs. Indécis: So the next day we started talking and it was electric [Annie P]! Like you would never believe how many things we have in common...I was just smitten.

Annie P: That's well and good but fast forward to engagement three months later.

Mrs. Indécis: Well we were going out, talking all the time and then the boom happened.

Annie P: (hastily) He has kids, Herpes, a wife, a girlfriend?

Mrs. Indécis: No fool! He left his apartment. Pause~ To this day I still have no idea why he "left" his apartment. Play ~ So at that point, well I thought and thought and thought and then I figured well God is sending me a sign so he moved in with me.

Annie P: [SILENCE]

Mrs. Indécis: [Annie P] you there?

Annie P: Oh I'm here...continue

Mrs. Indécis: Well he moves in one week later and things are EVEN BETTER! He is cooking and cleaning and we are leaving for work together in the morning. And the sex....and the SEX!
Pause~ Usually I would go IN on some sexual details; however, at this point I was so confused at this speed of her courtship I didn't even ask. So we fast forwarded. Play~

Annie P: So yeah...engagement..

Mrs. Indécis: So on Tuesday he texts me at work to say "meet me by the Brooklyn Bridge" and when I got there he proposed and I said YES! And now we are getting married on the 1st of March and I need your help planning. Pause~ TRINIDAD....CARNIVAL....2011....Need I say more? Play~

Annie P: We can discuss this planning thing later...HOWEVER, I'm not hating love you to pieces...but does he need his papers? Like why the rush?

Mrs. Indécis: I mean we just "know"

Annie P: Know what?

Mrs. Indécis: That we are supposed to be together!

Annie P: (insert uncertainty) Ok I support you.

Needless to say, at the end of the conversation I was unsure; however, at my current age I do NOT give advice. So of course, I just gave my two cents when asked and we moved on with planning her wedding keeping in mind I wasn't going to be there (lol).

So now fast forward to the present/past as in Tuesday (3/15).

Mrs. Indécis calls me to say that her husband's friend has seen a picture of me and decided that we (me and him) must meet. Pause~ Now here is where being single and having married friends gets tricky. They always want to hook you up! I mean I don't mind I think its nice...but how do they know that I really need that man right now? Play~ So I ask all of the necessary questions [age/kids/attitude/career] and accept the meeting. Well guys, I met him....And lets just say NOT MY TYPE! However, what did come from that date was a very very very FRANK convo with Mrs. Indécis. Upon speaking with her, we got into a very interesting conversation about marriage and kids and the whole "happy ending" thing. [NOTE: The deets on that date and conversation with Mrs. Indécis will be in Part II of this post].

In conclusion, my love for today stems to one solid thought. You are only as awesome as the company you keep. And to be honest, I keep some damn good company!

Until Part II,
Annie P and the PEEPS!

There is always a reason & a season for all things....

I know I'm late today guys BUT today has been kind of hectic at work. However, I couldn't let the day pass without giving you all the love for today. Love: There is a reason and a season for all things!

So on the radio show that I co-host with my friend, Fatal Angel, we usually have topics that guide the "vibe" of the show. However, due to the brief hiatus we took for Trinidad Carnival 2011, we decided to provide our listeners with both a solid and thorough recap of our experience in Trinidad. Sounds harmless right? WRONG! Infuse a bottle of Patron Silver Tequila and Welch's Passion Fruit juice and now we are talking about a full on swankiness endeavour.  Pause~ Tom foolery was at an all time high last night. We drank, we talked shit, we played like 3 songs in three hours and then...wait are you reading AND THEN had the nerve to take shots at the end of the show! I keep telling y'all to tune in [www.bigfm95.com] Play ~ So in the midst of our tom foolery, I start to notice.."hmm Annie P you are on the edge!" Now readers, by no means is this lady a light weight when it comes to drinking. HOWEVER, on this Tuesday...I just got all the way live.

So anyway, post getting tipsy I go home and "man" is there. So I begin to cook and then we start talking. Pause~ Worst time ever to engage Annie P in serious conversation is when she is tipsy. I'm honest all the time but lack the "sensor" clause when I'm tipsy. Its like "fuck it...they need to hear this shit" mode turns on. Play~ So man starts asking me all these questions and of course I'm answering (lol) blatantly. So post this, my "famous" chili is ready and of course "man" doesn't want to eat because something I have said pissed him off. Well needless to say, in the end I ate, and took my drunk ass to bed.

But then this morning it dawned on me...Why was I so invested in his emotions anyway? And it was at that moment that I realized the reason and the season for "man" has come and gone. I don't know how to end this post but I mean I think I said it all.

On to the next season!
Annie P.