Married on Wednesday....Human on Thursday (Part II)

Ok so now we are to the heart of this story! As in previous posts, the love will come at the end.

The Date
So the "date" or rather "meeting...." Pause~ So when going on first dates I usually like the man to take some initiative in planning. Not so much because I want to gauge his money or anything trivial like that. But, essentially I am in a man's world where I assert myself and plan plan plan everyday. So in most cases, I usually like someone to tell me where and when I show up. Lazy...maybe! Play~ So we agree on a meeting place which was at the W Hotel in Times Square. I get there in my afterwork faboosh attire and he was there in his suit. Attractive guy, dressed very smart, average height, weight, and very intelligent. Anyway, we meet have a casual/awkward embrace and then sit at the bar. So we begin talking and this man ends up being DRY LIKE A FUCKING CRIX! {Definition: For the non-caribbean, Crix is a cracker that is terribly dry dry dry but oh so good with some guava jelly}. And it was weird because he has some personality and ambition but like his conversation stinks! So much so that I got EXHAUSTED trying to make conversation that I just ended the date early and blamed it on a meeting. Pause~ I usually do not do that; however, being that I saw that he liked me I couldnt blatantly hurt his feelings. Play~

In the end, he did say he wanted to do it again and that he would call. And call he did readers! Like EVERYDAY call! And even though he is a potential dating candidate, I just dont understand how someone with no conversation skills likes to call! UGH!

The Conversation with Mrs. Indécis
So like any good friend who hooks up their good friend Mrs. Indécis calls me the next day at EIGHT AM to discuss my date. Pause~ I work A LOT! Therefore, 8AM calls are not appreciated unless we have a scheduled conversation and/or event. Play~ So of course I tell her about "Crix" and how the date was bleh. And then she says (ironically) "[Annie P] marriage and love do not always come wrapped in exciting packages." Now...once she said it I was completely taken aback based on her exciting courtship/engagement. And immediately the question, "WTF DO YOU MEAN?!?!" left my mouth.

Because I know you all love to read actual conversations...this is how it went.

Mrs. Indécis: I mean in the end nothing is perfect and you should accept what is offered to you.

Annie P: Um no ma'am! Every dog has their day and if that was [Crix's] good day then shit Im def not interested. But where the hell is this coming from?

Mrs. Indécis: Well take my marriage for instance. Me and [husband] are going well but there are problems and goals that we never discussed before getting married.

Annie P: (insert sarcasm) Really? After three months you guys didnt speak about everything? (snickers)

Mrs. Indécis: Dont be an asshole! Its more like, [husband] has no interest in talking about kids, buying a home, moving up in his career. Like [Annie P] I need advice.

Annie P: Um to be honest, I dont know what to tell you. Those things you mentioned are major milestones for any person. So being that he wont even approach the topic is something I can not help you with. I think you need to activate the married women phone tree. Pause~ A while ago eight of my married friends started a "married/committed women phone tree." This was something you could rely on if you ever needed a "come to Jesus meeting" on life. Corny but very helpful. Play~

Mrs. Indécis: Ugh cant get on the phone with those bitches. They always want to tell you to grit your teeth and bear it. Pause~ I will agree with her on this one. Many of the women in that group are highly educated but do not work because their husbands make A LOT of money. So they usually have the same advice. Hence why its kind of disbanded. But you know on the one off you may find someone that can have some good advice. Play~

Annie P: Well I mean what will you do?

Mrs. Indécis: I dont know. This is getting annoying. But then again I feel like this is the price you pay to be married in 2011. Maybe this is as good as it gets.

Annie P: Girl I dont think so! Im sorry...in this day and age, as women, we do NOT have accept that. If being married means being unhappy then girl let that shit go! Im not tell you to break up with your husband but I know me and that would not go down.

Mrs. Indécis: Divorce? And prove everyone right? No I will deal! And [husband] isnt that bad. He just chooses to not answer some questions that I have regarding the future. When I bring up kids he says "we have time" but I dont think like that.

Annie P: Well in the case of kids I agree; but then again you have a husband and I do not. Women are having kids into their 40s. However, if this is something you want I think another conversation is in order BUT proceed with caution. You already know where he stands.

Mrs. Indécis: Ugh....I was happier when I was single and miserable. Pause~ STATEMENT OF THE YEAR! Play~

Annie P: [DEAFENING SILENCE]

Mrs. Indécis: Oh girl I gotta go...[husband] just walked in. Bye [click]

Is anyone as confused as I am....STILL?!?! Cause I know at the end of the conversation I was left with an empty feeling. Not so much for me but for her. And then, so many questions came to me:

- Is that what we think marriage is now a days?
- Do women actually think that things will automatically fall into place?
- How many women think this?
- Are my decisions of "no to marriage" justified off this one woman's experience?

I mean I was completely floored!

Fast forward to Tuesday (3/22) Pause~ Funny how things are happening in week intevals. Play~ I was having a gchat conversation with Fatal Angel. And she tells me the following statistic:

         "1 in 6 married women stated they were happier when they were single." ~ Tyra Banks Show

Whoa! So I guess her feelings are justified! But then that statistic (even though from an unreliable source...sorry Tyra) shows that society is forcing women to be married. For some reason, most women think that wearing that white dress and getting your groom to look at you lovingly means the next day he will come around and NOT be the same man you met and dated pre-proposal. Pause~ Annie P is a hopeless romantic. But in cases like this the cynical side of me comes out. I have a point. Play~

In conclusion, the title of this series "Married on Wednesday...Human on Thursday" was to manifest the idea that humans are just that...humans! So on to the love: I am who I am. No more no less. If being married means changing my goals/ambitions then I do not want to be married. I am much better than that!

Takeaway: Lets (men and women) work to find true happiness! Don't settle because you think "its time" or "you want kids" or "im getting older." Some of the best things in life are def worth waiting for!

Loving love but taking it slow!
Annie P