For those that are interested, I spoke to my suitor last night and answered the question as I should and this is how it went. For the purposes of his annonymity we will call him "suitor."
Suitor: Hi beautiful
Annie P: (giggles) Hi honey
Suitor: How was the end of work?
Annie P: Fine but thats not what I called to talk about.
Suitor: Ok then whats on your mind? Should I be worried?
Pause ~ I dont know why men think that because you have a topic on your mind that they should be "worried." Dude we are NOT together Im calling to set the record straight. ok PLAY~
Annie P: Well I wanted to revisit that question you asked me earlier about why I didnt have someone. And I wanted to let you know that I dont have anyone because my last relationship ended and I have just been exploring the options. Not really looking to be tied down but not ignoring the possibilities of/for love
Suitor: Well I never thought you were weird or not normal. I just wondered why any man who had you faithful would let you go. I have to admit though your answer did make me wonder. But then you told did tell me about how the relationship ended and I got it.
Annie P: Your understanding overwhelmes me! (laughs) Why dont you have a girlfriend?
Suitor: She dumped me for my friend.
Annie P: Well (silence) thats all there is to say about that.
And of course we went on to talk for about 30 more minutes about a date and work and goals and all that junk. But I guess in the end I was shocked and kind of amazed at where the conversation went. He is a "nice" guy and seems to dig me. So we will see where this goes.
So on to the next love....Exploration!
I dont have much to say but to let you all know that I am exploring my next steps. Excited about the possibilites and interested to find out where things will go.
Blissful & Content,
The Dating Annie P
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Conversation Piece
Although I've posted for the day I had to enlighten those who do check this blog with the conversation I had today.
So for those who do not know, I am no longer in a relationship. Although sad and disappointed in the end of my almost 10 year courtship, there are many things that I have come to realize about me and my "status." But I digress...
Today I was on the phone with one of my suitors and he asked the question that I dread the most when starting to date someone:
"Why dont you have a boyfriend/fiance/husband? You're a great girl!"
When he asked this...I was taken aback. Not particularly because of what he said but because I had no answer. What does one say to that question? Uh cause the man didnt want me anymore so now I'm on the market again. Like I mean as a woman, I usually try to be understanding and open to anything said; but at that moment the only answer I could come to was "I dont know." After giving that answer, he politely said "well life's a game...I'm happy you decided to play again." But what does that even mean? Life's a game?! So where the hell have I been? At the side lines?
However in moving past that 45 minute conversation I think the answer is as follows.
I am not in a relationship because I am not supposed to be at this time. Had I settled for some of my past relations, I just might be miserable and married. Standing over a stove, crying, cooking dinner for my kids and wishing my husband paid as much attention to me as he does everything else. Or looking into the eyes of a man who doesn't make me happy wishing I had the courage to tell him. I know a few happily married people. I know a few people who are in relationships that they do not want to be in, but they are so caught up in what society says; they stay, grin and deal with it. I know people who are unhappily married, but front to the world everyday. However, I am not that person. In worrying about satifying some stereotype of society to be married and with kids, I lost sight of the fact that happiness starts with me.
In the end, as I'm sure I will be speaking with my suitor later...I will have to revisit that question. I dont know how I'm going to do it yet but there is something to be said when this lady doesnt have anything to say.
Well although this should have been a post for another day...I had to share to get some commentary on what you all thought.
Hmm,
Game player Annie P
So for those who do not know, I am no longer in a relationship. Although sad and disappointed in the end of my almost 10 year courtship, there are many things that I have come to realize about me and my "status." But I digress...
Today I was on the phone with one of my suitors and he asked the question that I dread the most when starting to date someone:
"Why dont you have a boyfriend/fiance/husband? You're a great girl!"
When he asked this...I was taken aback. Not particularly because of what he said but because I had no answer. What does one say to that question? Uh cause the man didnt want me anymore so now I'm on the market again. Like I mean as a woman, I usually try to be understanding and open to anything said; but at that moment the only answer I could come to was "I dont know." After giving that answer, he politely said "well life's a game...I'm happy you decided to play again." But what does that even mean? Life's a game?! So where the hell have I been? At the side lines?
However in moving past that 45 minute conversation I think the answer is as follows.
I am not in a relationship because I am not supposed to be at this time. Had I settled for some of my past relations, I just might be miserable and married. Standing over a stove, crying, cooking dinner for my kids and wishing my husband paid as much attention to me as he does everything else. Or looking into the eyes of a man who doesn't make me happy wishing I had the courage to tell him. I know a few happily married people. I know a few people who are in relationships that they do not want to be in, but they are so caught up in what society says; they stay, grin and deal with it. I know people who are unhappily married, but front to the world everyday. However, I am not that person. In worrying about satifying some stereotype of society to be married and with kids, I lost sight of the fact that happiness starts with me.
In the end, as I'm sure I will be speaking with my suitor later...I will have to revisit that question. I dont know how I'm going to do it yet but there is something to be said when this lady doesnt have anything to say.
Well although this should have been a post for another day...I had to share to get some commentary on what you all thought.
Hmm,
Game player Annie P
On A Magic Carpet Ride
So as of late within my new surroundings (job, love life, etc) I have taken to making strides to do things a little bit differently. First things first, I have made some assurances to myself that I will put me first. In fact, the attention that I have been granting myself has been EXPONENTIALLY better than it had been before. In recognizing the change, I have realized that people are less likely to approach me with foolishness now that they know where I stand with me. So on to love number...um...who knows: DON'T BRING THAT SHIT THIS WAY!
In my past I have been the friend that other friends dump on. And not in a bad way, but the way in which they need someone to speak to and they come and tell me all of the happenings and I listen and then I offer some advice and then they say "yeah you're right" and then we agree that I will support whatever decision is made. And for those of you who know this process through and through you know how the cycle just begins all over again. However, in taking the time to just get myself in order and climb out of the dismal hole I was in...I have come to recognize that the TRUE friends have learned not to come to me with the nonsense. We talk they ask how I am and then we move on to other conversation. Now don't get me wrong, the talks can lead to advice and general discussion about the day and its problems BUT they have recognized that at this time I am a friend who needs a friend.
As simple as this may seem, unfortunately I have never had this experience before. Not to say that my life has been without its problems but I have never had a friend that would call and say "I was just checking on you." So to my true friends out there I dedicate the following...
The love hug...and original painting by a wonderful seven year old painter! She is awesome and painted this for her mom and ended up being famous. But when she was interviewed and asked "why did you paint this?" she answered "cause my mom is the only person who understands me!" Hmm pretty impressive for a 7 year old but then again I completely agree. My true blues have been the only ones to understand me!
On to the next day love bugs!
Annie P
In my past I have been the friend that other friends dump on. And not in a bad way, but the way in which they need someone to speak to and they come and tell me all of the happenings and I listen and then I offer some advice and then they say "yeah you're right" and then we agree that I will support whatever decision is made. And for those of you who know this process through and through you know how the cycle just begins all over again. However, in taking the time to just get myself in order and climb out of the dismal hole I was in...I have come to recognize that the TRUE friends have learned not to come to me with the nonsense. We talk they ask how I am and then we move on to other conversation. Now don't get me wrong, the talks can lead to advice and general discussion about the day and its problems BUT they have recognized that at this time I am a friend who needs a friend.
As simple as this may seem, unfortunately I have never had this experience before. Not to say that my life has been without its problems but I have never had a friend that would call and say "I was just checking on you." So to my true friends out there I dedicate the following...
The love hug...and original painting by a wonderful seven year old painter! She is awesome and painted this for her mom and ended up being famous. But when she was interviewed and asked "why did you paint this?" she answered "cause my mom is the only person who understands me!" Hmm pretty impressive for a 7 year old but then again I completely agree. My true blues have been the only ones to understand me!
On to the next day love bugs!
Annie P
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Im Back!
So blogging world...I know I have been gone for some time but there has been a great deal going on in the past couple months. First and foremost, my birthday has passed and I had a BLAST! I started and ended my birthday EXACTLY the way I wanted to...surrounded by close friends and family! Then I also made up with some people that I had some slight problems with. We are now better than ever and making clear strides to make things better. So with that I'm coming to my next love...Reconnection and relaxation are always the key to a better me!
There have been times recently where I have been forced to step out of my character in order to make others aware that: 1) The smile and nice demeanor should not be taken advantage of and 2) I am not who you think I am! And although that seems vague sometimes these moments are so necessary because people will have to understand that you are not to be messed with. However, in moving forward and letting a lot of anger go I have been blessed substantially! Everything from personal to professional has turned around completely. So as a result, I present the following picture....
Not something I have taken or that anyone "notable" has taken. Just a picture from Google images that shows exactly how I feel inside and out!
So my lovelies...I wrote this post to let you guys know that no one can smash your happiness. It is not a state of mind it is a WAY OF BEING!
As of today...I can not guarantee that no one will ever make me unhappy but I can make a declaration to not let anyone gain such power over me again.
Until next time...
Annie P & her sunshine
There have been times recently where I have been forced to step out of my character in order to make others aware that: 1) The smile and nice demeanor should not be taken advantage of and 2) I am not who you think I am! And although that seems vague sometimes these moments are so necessary because people will have to understand that you are not to be messed with. However, in moving forward and letting a lot of anger go I have been blessed substantially! Everything from personal to professional has turned around completely. So as a result, I present the following picture....
Not something I have taken or that anyone "notable" has taken. Just a picture from Google images that shows exactly how I feel inside and out!
So my lovelies...I wrote this post to let you guys know that no one can smash your happiness. It is not a state of mind it is a WAY OF BEING!
As of today...I can not guarantee that no one will ever make me unhappy but I can make a declaration to not let anyone gain such power over me again.
Until next time...
Annie P & her sunshine
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Finding Faith
Today I'm veering off track a bit to speak about finding my own faith. So please bear with me on this flow of words. Love today: Understanding a path is set....God has the wheel and I am the passenger.
In the past year (2010), I made it my personal goal to be"saved" and/or become a better Christian. However, on my journey to becoming closer with God I realized that the idea of being saved has nothing to do with going to church every Sunday or tithing or not partying or not cursing. The idea of being saved in my definition is to become one with God and identifying Him as the Father! [Stepping down off soap box now]
So in 2011, now that I have identified where I am spiritually, I have come to realize that worship of the Lord can happen anywhere and being open minded and on a never ending path to learn is the quintessential part of being a disciple of God. So today I present a picture I love......
In the past year (2010), I made it my personal goal to be"saved" and/or become a better Christian. However, on my journey to becoming closer with God I realized that the idea of being saved has nothing to do with going to church every Sunday or tithing or not partying or not cursing. The idea of being saved in my definition is to become one with God and identifying Him as the Father! [Stepping down off soap box now]
So in 2011, now that I have identified where I am spiritually, I have come to realize that worship of the Lord can happen anywhere and being open minded and on a never ending path to learn is the quintessential part of being a disciple of God. So today I present a picture I love......
Picture: Black Boys Ga lour
Taken: August 2009
When I took this picture I was attending the BAM street fair and came across my nephew and his friends. Now this in no way was any type of religious experience BUT it did manifest today that a stress free life comes to those who TRUST in something or someone larger than them. In this case, my nephew and his friends sit with not a care in the world because they trusted in their parents to keep them safe and fed and happy. And when I think about this it comes full circle that in order for me to have a stress free life I have to let go and TRUST that God will take the wheel! For anyone that has come to that realization it is a truly POWERFUL moment.
Although this post went in another direction, I am proud to say that I am a bit more contented that I was a year ago. I now feel my own personal connection to the Lord in that I have a personal relationship could not achieve a year ago. The overall is to love and continue to believe the path has been set! There will always be bumps and hiccups and moments of failure BUT God will always throw in a cup of mercy, a dash of faith and three pounds of love to back you up always!
So I hope on this Sunday or any day this week, you all have had a moment to yourself to connect with God or whatever deity you pray to.
Love and Blessings,
The Faithful Annie P
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Challenge?....I THINK NOT!
Because of my lineage, there was never such a thing as "failing" or "not doing well" or even "not knowing." My parents raised my siblings and I to never back down. If you don't know..go look it up! If you think you can't do it...tough try anyway! And there was never NEVER NEVER any way that you were NOT going to work hard at it either.
So today I present not a love but a mantra: IMPOSSIBLE NEVER....TRYING ALWAYS!
The picture below is not of something I have taken but something that has become forever ingrained in my mind....
So today I present not a love but a mantra: IMPOSSIBLE NEVER....TRYING ALWAYS!
The picture below is not of something I have taken but something that has become forever ingrained in my mind....
I'm sure you must be thinking "Annie P has truly gone off the grid;" however, I have not! In a West Indian household, one of the first tenants you learn as a girl child is CLEANING! There is never an excuse for any holiday, birthday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday to meet your home unkempt! So as a ritual from the time you can hold a dish rag or piece of paper towel you BETTER learn and learn it quick how to make something shine before your mother reaches home.
Now there are two lessons I took from this:
1) No matter how sick/tired/poor/unhappy you are....you must always put your best foot forward in life.
2) People respect you more when you are able to show that you are not only on top of your game BUT YOUR RUN THAT SHIT AS WELL!
As a young girl, I always thought to myself I want to be wealthy (which wouldn't be terrible) and famous etc. But now that I'm getting older and understanding more about my capabilities my number one goal before leaving this earth is to leave a lasting impression and ideals with someone. Who knows who it will be, God willing my own child or maybe just someone whose life I have touched for a second.
In all, I hope that today's post has left you with some sort of fulfillment. Not because of the words I put down BUT also because you know there is one person who has taken you to higher heights!
Until the next time,
Annie P the Worker Bee
PS. a link to one of my fave cleaning songs: Big Truck - Machel Montano & Xtatik
* nothing like a good chip while you wiping down your washroom :)
Monday, January 3, 2011
OWNING IT!
There are certain points in my life that I can identify where I know I slacked and didn't appreciate what was going on. However, for those who do not know me....Ms. Annie P. is synonymous with OWNING IT! So on to love number five: BEING MY OWN CELEBRITY!
So I present the following picture of myself....
Takeaway: I want all women around me to feel empowered and feel confident and OWN IT WHEREVER YOU GO!
Until next time (which will be sooner than that last time),
This Girl & Her Paparazzi :)
So I present the following picture of myself....
Taken: September 2010
Location: Labor Day NYC (Eastern Parkway)
BEST SECTION: GAIA
Now in all honesty, I am a woman who believes in operating within the system to change the system. HOWEVER, when its time to coast and take the reigns on my life I march to the beat of my OWN drum. What most people do not realize is that I am full of tom foolery and fun but really I really love the fact that I am always, always, ALWAYS the one person who will always be my #1 fan.
The reason for this is that, as a child I was always chubby...hell I'm still chubby...but finding my own beauty image took time. And I realized that hoping and wishing that other people saw me beautiful was INSANE AND DOWN RIGHT CRAZY. So as I came into adulthood, I shed the real unhealthy pounds but also found that confidence is the "sexiest" thing that I can present to the world. As a woman, I needed to showcase that I know my worth and that I AM BEAUTIFUL.
Takeaway: I want all women around me to feel empowered and feel confident and OWN IT WHEREVER YOU GO!
Until next time (which will be sooner than that last time),
This Girl & Her Paparazzi :)
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