I AM SENSITIVE DAMNIT

In the past weeks I have begun polls with my friends regarding some character traits. And let me say this...I have been VERY SHOCKED at the answers that have been provided to me.

This conversation originally started back in April when I went to visit some of my good friends in Tennessee. Pause~ I am so grateful for my college experience. I met so many new people and a handful have become some of my closest friends. Play~ So while in TN, we were at a friends house (::cough:: drinking ::cough::) and the conversation of "first impressions" came about. Now somewhere in the mix, a friend of mine we will call DarkDiamond stated that many people were shocked that her and I were friends freshman year. Pause~ Background on DD, she is an AWESOME person. Like up until meeting her never thought I meet someone that was honestly better than me. And I use the term "better" because it is the only word that really suites her personality and all around awesomeness. Play~ Now when she said it, I stopped and asked "Why would they say that?" And she said (in the nicest way possible) "Because people thought you weren't a nice person."

GASP...GASP...GASP... Then as I sat there, mouth wide open, the others in the room started to nod their heads in agreement. WELL...I...NEVER...

I couldn't believe it. Me...not nice? Hmm. So then I started to inquire about why. And the overall answer was that, my general attitude appeared as if I didn't want friends. Pause~ I was an 18 year old girl from Brooklyn, making friends has always been easy for me. BUT I wasn't like breaking down doors to be friends with people. I had the typical New Yorker mentality. Get where you need to go and get there on time. Play~ Due to my comedic demeanor, of course, the first reaction people had when I seemed "shocked" was to laugh. However, as they realized that I was taken aback they immediately started saying the good friend thing that you have to say.

Well post that, I started a quest to ask certain friends first impressions. And upon going out for my friend, SunChilds, birthday I started to inject the notion that I consider myself "sensitive." Pause~ By sensitive I mean, empathetic to people's plights. Play~ And again, we sat there and everyone started to giggle and immediately disagree. So now here I am, at a table with 10 people and they all are telling me I do not appear sensitive on first contact. Really?

Well so now I'm here and I just have nothing to say. I really thought my sensitive side was out and about! Who knew it didn't really show. I mean I am not trying to change that. Maybe that side of me is only meant for those who know me. Or maybe my sensitivity is something that should stay masked because kindness can be seen as a sign of weakness. Well for whatever reason, I am happy in my own skin. So eh...sue me!

Annie P