Can Someone Answer This...

I never was, am always to be. No one ever saw me, nor ever will. And yet I am the confidence of all, To live and breath on this terrestrial ball. What am I?

Just a riddle to keep the week going!

Love yall,
Annie P

The New Old Guy [swoons]

Ok I know I usually do one post a day but I had to put this one up. You're girl Annie P is in a swooning kind of mood.

So remember the man I spoke about in the post about memories? Well...as stated he called when I was on my way back to NYC on Sunday. So of course we spoke, and I def told him I passed his number in my phone and just decided not to call. Pause~ This is a number I could NEVER get rid of. In the end, everyone (men and women) have a number in your cell phone/phonebook that you can not get rid of. For no reason you can't describe it just has to stay. Play~

We shall name this man Forbidden Fruit. Now a little background on our man FF. Mr. Fruit is older than me, attractive (swoons), has a job, one child and has great conversation. Pause~ Yes a job is amazing, kid whatever BUT great conversation is a definite win! Play~ Myself and FF met like five years ago via a very good friend of mine.  Pause~ I am no cheater...stop! Play~ And we became friends. Like would hang out, talk and IM. Pause~ I went to school in Tennessee, so the majority of my time for those four years were spent away from NYC. Play~  Well as time went on and our friendship grew, FF eventually told me he liked me. So like any woman, I told him that it wasn't possible and had to distance myself. Pause~ If I knew that "man" would have fucked me over years later....hmm no time for the shoulda coulda wouldas though. Play~

Fast forward to Sunday. We are on the phone for my two hour layover and he lets me know that he heard about my relationship ending. Pause~ Again 10 o'clock news. Play~ Then he lets me know that he didn't believe what was being said and I thanked him for knowing me better than that. So anyway, we are talking and then the topic of going on a date comes up. Pause~ A sister is TIRED of going on dates. Like I know that's ironic to say as most women (so I hear) are dying for dates. But really, I'm fatigued. Play~ And I had to tell him that I am really busy between work and my other activities. Of course disappointment in his voice sets in and I have to give in. Pause~ My policy is to try and make time for those who are willing to invest in you. And he is worth the investment. So here we are. Play~ However, whats awesome about FF is THAT he then said the following:

"I respect your time. I know your busy. If its ten minutes, one hour, or a day I will take whatever I can get."

How do you say no to that!? Well...needless to say a date is planned. However, in my new spurt of celibacy I will need to get myself in order! Pause~ Hence the name assigned Forbidden Fruit Play~ So more to come on that loves!

Happy Wednesday!
A Swooning Annie P

Wednesday's Bliss

As I sit at my desk this wonderful Wednesday, I couldn't help but smile. So the love for today all: Bliss!

First off, my apologies for not blogging yesterday. There was a ton to be done on the professional and personal side. Which, in turn, lead to a day of no blog posts. But alas, the 365 challenge to understanding what makes me me continues. Pause~ For those who recently tuned in, this blog was started because I am on a quest to understanding what makes me the woman I am today via the "loves" for that day. Unfortunately, I stopped counting BUT that's a good thing. Play~

Anyway, today I left home at the usual time and came to work early (again as usual) and sat down to adjust my week. Of course, I got my usual slew of texts from suitor, Crix, Fine Man, Young Man, Driver and Ghana Revisited. Pause~ Hmmm...never realized how many are on the text rotation. LOL Play~  However, today I didnt even bother answering. I'm declaring this day "Annie P's Day." No men, no fuss, no muss....I'm going to do whatever I want to do today!

I know you must be thinking, I do what I want anyway. But really I don't! And that's kind of scary. Pause~ I literally have to schedule in when I'm going to like "drop off the earth" for a day. Like seriously, in the Poppycock it says "Drop off Earth - All Day" Play~ And even worse, recently a phenomenon has come up when unscheduled activities have been popping up and it totally throws off my entire day. Pause~ For the average working woman, such is life. But this is insane. Play~ So today, I woke up with a determination to take some time to myself today. Now...what...to...do?

Annie P

Distant Memories of...

This post is dedicated to all those who took a moment this weekend to smell the roses. So this weekend was good for the most part. I wont bother you all with the work details but I had a great time none the less. Love today: Distant Memories Resurrected.

The funny things about distant memories is that they always find a way to manifest themselves whenever you see, smell, say, laugh or just sit. And this weekend happened to be one of those where I had a lot of good/bad memories find themselves on my membrane. Because I haven't blogged since Thursday...bullets will be the focus.

• On Friday, my good friend Vexy and I had an interesting gchat conversation while I was getting my wig tightened. Pause~ Vexy is good for some good old foolishness! We have been able to sit and talk about everything but when it comes to talking shit we are masters. Play~ So we sat on gchat and the conversation started off so simple (about books). Then somehow, as things always do, we shifted to airports and airlines we hated. Which OF COURSE drifted over to men. (LOL). Pause~ I don't know how this happens. Either my friends and I are hyper-sexual OR just that random. Either way, somehow, some way, we are right back here. Play~ And we began to speak about men we either conquered or vanquished (lol). Pause~ No "wishing"...the ladies I rock with come, see, conquer, discard and move forth. Play~ The funny thing about this is that post this talk I began to go through my phone book and paused on one name [SIGH].....hmm debated calling but then stopped..."things" like that shouldn't be toyed with.
• Saturday, I worked as per usual BUT I did get to see some wonderful people that I have the privilege to have in my life. Pause~ So I have a wife. I have written about her in a previous post about "Single Moms" and she is awesome. Hence why we are married. Play~ Anyway, with seeing these RATCHET people we caught up, reminisced and just had a good time. The distant memory that surfaced were the days of undergraduate life. We had a GOOD TIME! I mean "ridiculosity" was never a factor. We did it and did it BIG! Pause~ I know everyone likes to think that their experience was the best but really....ours still stands the test of time. We lived! Play~
• Saturday night, had a baaaddddd night! Basically, because of "man." Pause~ It always comes back to him. I don't know how I am still here! Play~ There are rumors circulating about me. He may not be the person spreading said rumors HOWEVER because of his piss poor decisions in the past 9 months here I am...everyones 10 o'clock news update. Pause~ No need to revisit what is being said. But there is something to say about piss poor decision making at this stage in life. I began to hate "man" but decided whatever, not worth it. This is nothing I'm not used to. Sad but true. Play~ So I had a minor meltdown. My wife was there to help me through it and I moved on and went to bed. Distant memory here: Rumors will always exist. People don't want to see anyone happy and/or just at homeostasis. So there are Annie P rumors...I'm just moving on.
• Sunday morning, 4:45AM on the way to the airport and I get a text message from Fine Man. "Cant wait for you to come back. Call me!" Pause~ Why? Play~ So like any text message that comes in that early in the morning you get ignored. Anyway, in the airport on a layover, thinking about a lot of stuff and then it happens......get the call from dude from bullet one! Pause~ God is a woman. Play~ He calls to catch up and ask me on a date! Y'all....this...is....too...much!

Needless to say, this weekend was good. I had both good and bad happen but in the end the good out weighed the bad. So this weeks mantra...

“A memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.”

Building the next memory,

Annie P

Go Get You Some Business

So guys I have a problem...well not really a problem but an interesting perdicament. There is a lot to tell and not enough time so please bare with me on this.

• Three weeks ago my older good friend's son calls me and tells me that he got his girlfriend pregnant and he needed 1) advice and 2) money. Pause~ Ok I know...don't even begin to shake your head at me. I don't know when it happened but I became his like cool older friend. To the point where he started calling me "Auntie" Play~
• So then I tell him I can send him the money but I wont because I am not going to give him the money and let him think that everything can be solved by making a phone call. Pause~ I'm no parent, but as a woman I have been in that zone. And to be real I don't think he called for "advice" he was calling for me to MAKE the decision. And I will NOT do that. He needs to call his mother for that. Play~
• Now fast forward to Monday, another friend we shall call "Traitor" has given him the money for said procedure. HMMM....Pause~ Background on "Traitor"..same age as me. Very responsible but LOVES to be in the middle of something. So being in the middle of this is perfect. Play~ So when I find this out, I called her and asked her what the hell she was doing. She is not that boys mother. And she says to me "Would you rather he mess up his life with a baby?" Pause~ NO I WOULDN'T YOU DUMB ASS! Play~ So I instantly told her that when our friend finds out that you knew and you gave him the money shes gonna flip!
• Ok so we arrive to Wednesday morning, said boy calls me to tell me that "Traitor" called him and they ended in a big argument. Pause~ Why are you arguing with a teenager? STOP Play~ Of course I asked why and he told me because his girlfriend had not gotten the procedure done as yet. So I asked why hadn't she gone to get it done. And he said because she said "she wants to think about it. she knows how my 'family' feels." Pause~ This is exactly the reason I didn't want to be involved. Because I know what this girl is thinking. He wants the baby and his family doesn't. And now the little girl is prob attached to the damn fetus. So she wants to "think" about keeping a baby. Play~
• So now "Traitor" calls me this morning at like 5AM because our friend has found out. Pause~ LMFAO!!!!!!! Y'all already know what happened. Play~ Basically, neither party was happy about what was going on. And "Traitor" called me to tell me that our friend said she was going to be outside her job to give her something to be angry about.

So now check this out. Both friends are calling ME to talk to the other one about the "right" thing to do. Now really and truly, Annie P is staying OUT OF THIS! But a part of me feels guilty because I don't want anyone hurt or arrested. But....I just don't know...

However, I am interested in getting some opinions about this.

Sincerely,
Thursday's version of Annie P

Funny Happenings on the Way to Recovery!

So readers, yesterday I was in a funk! Like having a serious down in the dumps day! Pause~ Thanks to the wonderful words and sentiments from you guys! Def made the day better. Play~ I don't know why and I don't really know where it came from but it was there. Then all of a sudden, my day took a turn for the better. So love for today: Intervention comes from everywhere!

Well, while feeling down in the dumps, I was on the way to the radio. Pause~ I don't know how many times I have to tell you guys to listen in [www.bigfm95.com] 6PM-9PM on Tuesdays. Play~ While on the way, the first amazing thing that happened was that the MTA gods smiled down on me and I actually had a smooth ride. Pause~ For the non-New Yorkers, this is a big deal! Trains have a funny way of stopping OR moving slow as ass. Then I usually have to catch a bus. UGH! And that bus drives me crazy! Play~ So when I arrived at the radio, I spoke to my sister, Liz Taylor, and we laughed and laughed. Radio with Fatal Angel as usual, was great. We had a good time. Talked a bunch of mess and I even got a ride all the way back to the gaza for the free! Pause~ Yes I live in what my comrade, LRK, calls the Gaza! Play~

So when I got home, got my money from "man" which was not surprising. Pause~ "man" may be a terrible person BUT he is always on time when it comes to money. So for this I tip my hat to him. Play~ And then I went to bed. Pretty easy night in general. Now.....this morning I get up, get on the train and I see Fine Man. Pause~ Haven't given you guys much updates on him because there have been NONE! Ha! Recently, we have been missing one another (both in the morning and by phone). Play~ So as per usual, I am looking rather smashing and he comes over to me while I'm listening to my morning groove. Well I would give you guys just a story but I know how much you love open convo. So here is how it went.

FM: Hi [Annie P] how are you stranger?

AP: Morning! I'm no stranger to you sir.

FM: Well its been a while since I've seen you on the train or anywhere else for that matter. Pause~ Hit    
        below the belt number one. Sarcasm at its best. Please don't think that was a cute remark. 
        Play~

AP: Well I've been busy. You know...work, life, rock 'n roll.

FM: For a minute, I thought you threw me away for someone else. Or you were avoiding me.

AP: Hmm..no I don't have that kind of mental capacity to blatantly avoid someone now a days. But it is good
       seeing you. Pause~ I'm a believer in killing them with kindness. Play~

FM: Its great see you! You look amazing. Loving the green. When will I be able to take you out on the
        town?

AP: Will you be on your phone again? Pause~ Last date was terrible! He was on the phone
       the ENTIRE TIME! Play~

FM: You're never going to let me live this down. Well I definitely want to take you on a proper date.

AP: Ok well its a can do. I'm out of town this weekend and next. But I mean we can make it happen.
       Pause~ My life does not revolve around any man so I had to let him know. Play~

FM: Great. Well beautiful, I hope that we can speak about more this time besides work and the course of
        the day. BIG PAUSE~ TALK ABOUT WHAT?! NEGRO PLEASE! PLAY~

AP: We shall see.

- End Scene -

Now the reason why this was funny is because I had completely written this man off. Like three bad dates is enough for me. However, in having a good evening, I decided to forgive and let go. And sure enough...this man shows up out of no where and tests my exact statement to myself!

THEN......I get to my desk and sure enough there are voicemail emails on my computer from the one and only CRIX! Who the hell told that man to call me!?!?! Pause~ God is too much! Like that Fella there...He does really know how to test. Play~ So now here I am....having to decide to call back and just let go OR leave it be! HA! Interesting things do happen everyday!

Later love bugs!
Annie P

Wondering...

Have you all ever woken up in the morning and just wondered why the hell your doing what your doing? That's the feeling I woke up with this morning. I got up this morning, and performed my usual morning routine. And was just so "whatever" about everything. Pause~ Love my job, love the direction my life is going in. Play~ I cant blame this on any one person but like this feeling is like really annoying me!

In life there are certain things I have come to accept. Most recently, it has been my breakup and in the past it has been the other mundane things that I have had to do. Like administrative work! UGH! Pause~ Curse of being a manager at a young age. You get annoyed when you have to do silly things like send emails and paperwork. UGH! I know I sound ridiculous but when you are great at what you do getting back to the basics is annoying. Play~ So anyway, I'm at work now and I'm just not feeling good. Like the overall feeling of sluggishness and discomfort are setting in.

Well anyway, keeping this one short.

Hoping to have a better day,
Annie P

What Has Come To Life....

So readers there is much to discuss this lovely Monday morning. So just to keep things streamlined, I will be touching on three major events from the weekend. Pause~ I was going to do more than one post but due to the workload this is it. So please try and keep up. Play~

I. Date with the Young Man
II. Party with the Angels
III. Women Enhancing Men

As per usual, I will round out this post with my love for the day.

I. Date w/ the Young Man aka YM
So on Friday, as promised I went on the date with YM. As stated in previous posts, I'm lazy and let the man plan the first date and just show up. So he picked a lovely place called Night of the Cookers in downtown Brooklyn. So of course I was CAH-YUTE! I def was rocking the after work chic! Pause~ I def put a great deal of effort into that outfit. As far as having my friend coming over and helping me pick it out. I don't know why I was so "nervous" or cautious but I just was and wanted to be right in all areas. Play~ So we meet (I'm late as usual), and we go inside. The ambiance was lovely and the company was stellar. We spoke about sports, life, work and all that. All together there was nothing negative that I can say about the date. I was able to learn a little more about him and plan on seeing him again in the near future. HOWEVER, y'all know I'm not going to be silly and think too much of this good beginning. Men always have a way of "surprising" me. So we shall see how the next few weeks turn out.

II. Party w/ the Angels
Now......[sigh] on Saturday night I went to a party called Poor Man Jam with my comrades. As usual, when going out with these ladies there are two things I can always count on alcohol and a great time. Pause~ I know drinking hiatus...well that got tossed out the window. Life is too short just cant live my life in excess. Play~ So we meet up get to the club. All is well and good UNTIL we are over by a group of women that we shall call "Carnival Tacky." Pause~ I know I usually give plenty back story on people; however, due to my short/small interactions with these ladies I can not give you much. However, you will get the gist of this when I'm finished. Play~

So in the party now, and we are drinking and having a good time. Pause~ I'm going to interject here and let you know that ALL of the women I hang with are GORGEOUS! Now in saying that, those who are cute know that this is a gift and a curse. Play~ So while dancing etc, my friend Fatal Angel is dancing with a man and sure enough one of "Carnival Tacky" comes over "drunk" and snuffs her. Pause~ There is one thing I hate about scenes like this. 1) Being drunk is not a fucking excuse. 2) As a woman why are you snuffing me over some man? 3) YOU LOOK MANNISH! Play~ Now when this happened, Annie P was not close but there were two other ladies there and of course one of "Carnival Tacky's" crew comes and starts to save the day.

In the end, I have come to the conclusion that alcohol and tacky old ladies don't mix. Because you talk, smile, laugh, joke, and "support" when really you were jealous the whole time. Now in this case, I can say that jealousy wasn't pointed at me. BUT I am very offended. So to all those authentic people out there...THANK YOU! For the fakers, just stay in your lane. This party isn't for you.

III. Women Enhancing Men
As a nice round out of my weekend, I held a small sip and chat for one of my friends birthdays. Pause~ Annie P LOVES to host! Play~ Anyway, its very few times that my high school friends and I get to get together and just chill out. So being that a birthday passed, we decided this would be a great opportunity to see one another. Like stated in a previous post, my friends from high school consists of six men and myself. So of course, they brought their girlfriends and we rounded out with a few of my friends. Anyway, while sitting there the topic of "can/do women enhance men" came up. Pause~ The weird thing about having this conversation was that "man" was there. And as much as I am ok with us not being together. Knowing that I invested sooooo much time into that person makes me so pissed with myself. But whatever. Cant cry over spilled milk. Play~  So we were speaking and a clear division started amongst the genders. Of course as a woman, I gave the perspective that the girlfriends in the room did not want to give.

WOMEN WIN BATTLES EVERYDAY WITH MAKING THEIR MAN BETTER! WE DO IT ALL AND GIVE IT ALL AND MEN TAKE IT!  

Now don't get me wrong. I do believe that men have the ability to give a woman stability, love and sound judgement. But lets be real. When it comes to being in a relationship, women immediately assume the role of lead but take the submissive approach. Pause~ By no means am I saying that women should/are submissive. But I know from the experience with my own relationship, "man" may have been the head but I was definitely the neck! Hence, I turned the head any which way I could when I could. Play~ Of course, there was immediate uproar with that controversial statement. So I pose this question to those of you out there.

- Do women enhance men in the relationship?
- Do men recognize that their woman is making a sound investment into their relationship?

- Should women get reparations once a man does something stupid?

Anyway, I know that I was everywhere and no where today but like I said I had a lot to say today. Love for the day: Discussion! Never gets old!

Love yall,

Annie P

Uneasy

I know its odd for me to blog on a Saturday but here I am blogging.

Yesterday, I had a long but eventful day. Finally tracked down my check from my last employer, completed projects at work, saw a good new friend, read my friend's thesis paper and then ended the day with my cousin for her birthday.

Anyway in the midst of all of that, this wave of uneasiness has started to settle in. Its kind of like a wave that came from no where and has managed to consume me. Its one of those feelings where you want to improve on SOMETHING...but you just don't know what. Pause~ I do a great deal on a day to day. However, its like my homeostasis is just off. Play~ So while reading a book called "Expect to Win" by Carla Harris, I reached a portion that speaks to mentoring. Pause~ For those of you that do not know who Carla Harris is, please google her and get all the info. She is the truth! I consider her the Oprah of Wall Street. Play~ And she so eloquently states the following:

"...Finding a mentor on any level begins with understanding what you need and identifying the person you respect the most. Once you find the two, the match can be made."

So while on the train, I decided to take a moment to write down the things I felt uneasy about. And when it came down to it there were three areas I need "help" with. Pause~ For the sake of keeping somethings to myself, I'm not going to reveal. As I improve maybe I can post but...you know. Play~ So here I am...three goals and now to find a mentor.

For those of you who know me, I can be very type A. I will get to the root! Research, interview and find measurable results. However, on this note I am completely in the dark. I mean, I have professional mentors and people I look up to. However, in looking for a mentor I have no idea where to begin.

So at this point I'm turning the questions over to the blog world. How does one find a mentor? What are the first steps?

Lost in the jungle,
Annie P

Conversations Last Night

Men.....are...interesting! There are very few men that I ever say that about; however, over the past couple weeks more and more have become the focus of my "you are interesting" talks. So before I begin...love for the day: Spotting the BULL!

Last night I was speaking with a friend of mine and we were speaking about our current love "situations." Now in speaking about love and life with this friend we always manage to make declarations and new decisions on what we are going to do. Me with "man" and her with her dude who we will name "The VP of Hot." Now let me tell you about the VP of Hot (who we shall refer to as VPoH). Pause~ I usually don't pass judgement on anyone...but when someone is full of malarkey...there is something to be said. Play~ So VPoH is an attractive man, loads of talent, smart, well-spoken (from what I can tell) and an amazing lover (so I'm told). Now there are always negatives in any person but VPoH is just one of those men who is just gives nothing. Pause~ Not my place to put an opinion forward. Don't really care to. He is not my priority my friend is. So that's that on that. Play~

So blog land, last night I saw a picture of the "competition" and literally was STARING at this picture for 38 and 1/2 minutes! (Yes I timed it). Not only is she nothing to write home about BUT she was just REGULAR! [Definition of "regular" - WACK ON ALL SIDES! MARGINALLY ATTRACTIVE! COULD BE SMART BUT JUST..UGH...REGUALR] And even though this is none of my business, I stared at her picture so hard like I did when I finally saw the picture of the woman "man" was messing with. Pause~ You know this is always about me! Play~ When I saw the woman that "man" had left me for, Pause~ Yes a man left me...CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!!? HA! Poor fella! Play~ I was so enamoured because she was so BASIC! As in nothing special. She was OLD, lacked education, demonstrated piss poor decision skills and eventually turned out crazy. So when I saw this come full circle with VPoH and my friend, I just knew men are SO FOOLISH and it wasn't just me! Is this is a new trend amongst men? Do they all just leave whats great for whats MARGINAL?

Anyway, as we examined this picture, of course we cracked massive jokes. Pause~ I mean we are women. By no means were we hating BUT we know what the truth is...my friend is better. Play~ However, after sleeping on this, I saw "man" this morning and just knew that he, like VPoH, are the truest form of bullshit. So in terms of the love for today, I am just glad that this realization has come sooner than later. Pause~ I mean for me, the word "sooner" is something of a joke being that its almost 10 years later and I'm JUST picking up on the foolishness. Play~

In the end, my favorite breakup quote is as follows. Pause~ I went into serious self help mode when I broke up with "man." Not because I was intensely sad, but because I knew there was something out there to help guide me through this experience. I am very type A. I dont play when it comes to my emotional state. Play~

"The dark of night does not come after the golden glow of the day's sun but before it."

I dont know why that resonates with me so much. Maybe its because on the day I read that quote, I had a terrible weekend because of something "man" said. And on Monday the best string of events began. Got a call for my fab new job, met a great guy (well who I thought was a great guy) and had weighed in 7lbs lighter. So in the end, yes the night before is dark and gloomy but the glow of the next day was AMAZING!

Anyway love bugs, I just hope that VPoH and "man" find all that they need. I make a solemn promise to pray for them daily; however, judgement always follows those who judge.

Until next time,

The Friday Version of Annie P

PS. Today is the date with the younger man....hmmm...pray for me!

Things I Must Get Done

So like everyone, a while back I made my list of things to do before I turn whatever age. Well I ran across this as I was going through my purse for an item. Pause~ I find the most random things in my bag. So in looking for my Poppycock (aka the moelskine) I found a pint fo Johnny Walker, my pocket poem and this random list of things. Play~ So I think that I am going to really make an effort to get some of these things done. And in actuality most of it I can cross off. So I am making this solemn promise to get most (if not all) of these items done! DEADLINE: DECEMBER 2012

To Do

Sell a painting I created.

Join a dance class.

Night out with my fav ladies (like all night!)

Get drunk - wasted.

Color my hair.

Learn how to make awesome coffee.

Join yoga/pilates classes.

Take the train more

Have my own library.

Picnic by the riverside.

Spend one day lying in bed and not feel guilty about it. Just do nothing but read great books. Laze about. Ok, cut out the books too. Just be so lazy that laziness gets an entirely new definition.

Meet Carla Harris

White water rafting.

Go on a photo-vacation.

Dance in the rain - done that - wanna do again.

Get a fabulous job

Master one dish which will be handed down generations

Get one step closer to being Oprah

Scuba diving / snorkeling.

Get over my fear(s).

Relearn maths.

Dance on top of a table. In heels.

Hire a decorator

Younger Men?

Ok blog world, so today I have a serious question that needs an answer. But before I give you the question lets get you some background.

So a week ago, I was at a bookstore in Manhattan and happened to literally run into a man who was standing there. So I apologized and he smiles and says "its ok beautiful." Pause~ Its something about the word 'beautiful' that really brightens my day. I don't know why but its a word that I don't hear often. Play~ Post that statement, I smiled and said thank you and moved on. Like any Annie P situation the story doesn't end there, he comes up to me and asks me for my number and we exchange.Ok...now we begin to speak on the phone/text and conversation is going very well. Like we have a great deal in common (ie. career goals, relationships, children, etc.). Pause~ He is a cutie! 6'4", thick, just NICE! Play~

So two weeks pass and we are getting to know one another and some how the topic of age came up. Pause~ I know I know...these are questions that come in the beginning. Well, I have been juggling so much lately that I thought that I had this conversation but clearly I didn't. Play~ So imagine my surprise when he tells me is THREE YEARS MY JUNIOR! Um yeah...[insert deafening silence]. Hmm...I mean I cant be an age-ist. In fact, I have dealt with men in my past and present that have been way older than me. So I guess I cant be ridiculous and cut this man off for the simple fact of age. Pause~ He is not a teenager or anything like that. But I have never dated someone younger than me. And there is something to say that I had to ask to get the information. He is a very mature individual for his experience. Play~ So now here is the question family...

Is dating someone younger than you taboo? And if it is not, how do you look past it? What do you do to make sure it does not cripple your relationship?

I know more than one question, but I'm kind of struggling. There is a fine line I feel. I have been polling some female friends of mine. And namely all have been saying "take the risk...you're not making a baby just talking." But I'm just....ugh....worried. I cant hurt someone that is younger than me. I feel like I will be ruining him lol. Pause~ Its something about messing with a younger man that is making me more worried for his self esteem. Stupid I know, but when I think of me at that age..I def didn't think the way that I think now. Things are waaaay different. Play~ So now we have a date tomorrow (as in Friday) and I'm def going and will be bringing my authentic self. But...ugh...woe is me....

Updates coming soon!
Annie P



Eatocracy = Peace

Taking a shift from the usual dating banter to discuss something that has become a large part of my life..Eating! For those of you who have checked out my profile, you will see that Annie P is not a small woman. As a matter of fact, I am a thick/big-boned/jammed packed/plus-sized woman. Pause~ For those who have read my "being my own celebrity" post you can see that I LOVE my body! There is always room for improvement; but, I love me and I love the way I look. Play~ However, now that I am getting older there are certain things that have become apparent. 1) Food and my body are not always on the same page. 2) My love for food/cooking has become a passion. 3) Pairings and experience are always on time.

Number One: Food and my body are not always on the same page.
- For the purposes of this post, I will not divulge too far into my personal health; but for some time food has become my worst enemy. Its has come to a point where I eat handfuls of food and am done for the entire day. Pause~ I'm not dying [praise Jesus] but there is some kind of war between my taste buds and my stomach that I am still trying to remedy with a Peace Treaty. Play~ So one day in speaking with my dad and then my friend, Fatal Angel, I have begun a new ritual for food. This ritual came down to organic and cooked food...EVERYDAY! Now for those of you who know me...busy is my middle name. Pause~ I'm not sure when I got THIS busy but it happened. And to be honest, I'm tired of hearing that old adage about "people make time for the things they want to do" PLEASE...the thing I want to do is sleep and you damn right I make time for that. Play~ So this journey to cooking and looking for specific ingredients/additives in food began and I thought I was going to HATE this entire process. However, to my surprise this challenge became a wonderful experience. I am in love with the idea of  scouring the supermarket to get not only great tasting ingredients but the RIGHT ingredients.

Number Two: My love for food/cooking has become a passion.
- With my quest for great ingredients, my zest for cooking has become a wonderful experience. Pause~ I am no master chef like my sister, Elizabeth Taylor. That chick can throwdown! Play~ Being raised in a West Indian family, there are certain traditions that you can rely on. A clean house and Sunday dinner. So learning to infuse my families traditions within my own space has been fun. As a result, I have been trying a myriad of new cuisines. Today's adventure will be Vietnamese. [pics to come later].

Number Three: Pairings and experience are always on time.
- So in dating... Pause~ I know I said I wasn't going to talk about dating...but I...I just had to do it for this part. (lol) Play~ Hmm, I have come to realize that great company enhances the food. And in most instances within dating, poor company and/or a bad setting has made the food terrible. Therefore, I have taken to a new principle.

- No date (specifically a meal) shall take place unless you have been vetted by management.

Now I know you may be thinking, 1) Annie P is being ridiculous and 2) Who the hell is management? Well readers, let me tell you one thing. I, Annie P, am not ridiculous! What I have learned during my short dating spree is that men are, for lack of a better word, callous. So in trying to ensure that I am "having a good time" some things like chivalry and pleasantries can fall through the cracks. Therefore, the second half of that statement becomes the most IMPORTANT part of my dating experience. Management aka "Annie P's 20 Questions" Pause~ Yes, I do have 20 questions LITERALLY! I am very no nonsense when it comes to that. In fact, the reason for my difficulty is that I cherish my free time. Therefore, investment into another person means that I lose more of the little time I have for me. Play~ These questions address everything from personality type to family lineage. It seems extensive, I know, but have you heard of the Craigslist Killer? Ok then. So once a man passes these barriers a meal can happen. Now what occurs on said date is another thing. BUT at least I know I can enjoy my meal.

In the end, I have named my new food journey "Eatocracy." I consider this phase the beginning to finding a new kind of peace. So goodbye to the following:

- "man" & all that drama

- Mrs. Indecis

- Urban Management

- Crix

New things on the horizon.

Until Later,

Annie P. & her camera

PS. Rebs has been jealous shes been left out the blog. Took new pics and I'm going to upload soon!

Nothing Today

Im full of nothing today. There is a great deal going on but because of external people its spiraling out of control. I have no idea who to trust or what to do next. Maybe Im going to have to think about this some more. Anyway....no "pause/play" action. Im going to just trudge along and hope for the best.

Annie P.

Three Times & You're OUT!

Hmph...needless to say this post is going to be an interesting one. First off, my apologies on pause in blogging. The new gig has picked up substantially; therefore, leaving little time during the day to do the things I want to do like blog. Well on to the love for today: Enough is enough

So in moving forward with my dating spectrum a great deal has changed. I have stopped the "juggle" as I politely put it in my last blog entry. So below is a short recap for you..

1) Suitor: Um lets say we are on "pause." He has not taken a liking to the fact that there are "other men" that are competing for my free time. Pause~ This kind of fed into the pause because I cant stand a man with little confidence. Be aggressive! Don't give up! Like why would I want to continue dating you if you "quit" on me so easily. Play~

2) Ghana Revisited: What do I say about this man...Well we went out on a date to discuss the things he read on this here blog. And needless to say he was not happy with the commentary. So of course, I did the polite thing and told him that it was all my thoughts and I share it will all of like 15 people so he shouldn't be too concerned. WELL...post that talk he has been working really really hard to show me his "softer" side, as he put it. So I don't know what is in store but I mean I haven't kicked him to the curb completely.

3) Crix: Pause~ I know you must be asking yourself "what the hell is this lame ass man doing in Annie P's life still?" Well hmmm listen to this! Play~ This man is relentless! After my brazen and rude tone, he definitely did not call/text for a few days. HOWEVER, as the old adage says "men don't leave." So my man found himself calling everyday.....are y'all reading...EVERYDAY until I picked up to apologize for that conversation. Now by no means is he back in the running BUT I did have to accept his apology...as it is the good Christian thing to do. Pause~ Yes Annie P has some religion (lol) Play~ As for the "friend" who was giving him insider trading tips on me...that's a post for another time.

Ok and please forgive me for this...I vowed to not write about him but I am...FINE MAN (shivers)!
Fine Man: HMMMMM.....We went on two dates. Both were mediocre. I don't know what it is about him. Pause~ By no means am I holding onto this man because of what he does or how much he makes. I am interested in him because he is smart and aggressive which I enjoy. Add that to his overall fineness and we are talking AMAZING! HA! Play~ He is great on the way to work and in mid-day chit chat. But one on one the brother needs work! And because I know I'm not planning on sharing any part of this blog with him...below are the deets.

Date #1
We go to a cute tapas place in the LES. Very cute...very chic...all around undiscovered gem. We sit down he of course got there before me and begins to drink. So when I arrive (15 mins late) he definitely tried to be warm and order me a drink. Pause~ Don't worry my quest to take a drinking hiatus was in full effect! Play~ I politely said no and got a white wine spritzer. NOW...we sit down talking and this guy is being a total JERK! So like any true West Indian girl, I had to check that instantly. The exact quote was "I know you have to be this way due to the nature of your job but please turn that jerk shit off for a minute." Pause~ I am not..I repeat am NOT a difficult date; however, I will not be talked down to. Play~ So he apologizes and we continue the date. In the end, I had to shut a lot of things down and basically we kind of ended on an awkward note because I couldn't get past how rocky the date was.

Date #2
We went to a GREAT rezzie in midtown! Awesome food, great ambiance BUT this man stayed on his work blackberry the entire time. Pause~ Work is important and I am a busy woman too. I mean it was Thursday! I could have stayed at work and/or been on my work blackberry as well. However, when I agree to meet someone I agree to give them my uninterrupted attention. Play~ This was a major turn off. We ended the date with me telling him "Next time if you are busy and can not get away, let me know I'm a grown up I can take a cancellation."

In the end, he is a great guy with loads of potential; BUT, I don't know...there is so much negative already. Pause~ He's no gremlin or sexist but I mean its so weird when you go on two terrible dates. Like what the hell do you do? Play~ So I don't know how to assess that just yet but we have ONE last date. I'm giving this one more shot before I make a decision. Man this dating this is TOUGH!

Le Sigh,
Annie P

To Be Celibate or Not To Be?

If you have been keeping up with my dating life you will note that there is no mention of any "sexual" actions occurring. Not just because I am a private person, but because there is nothing happening. Pause~ To be honest, I don't know if I would let y'all know that I did do anything. However, I think based on my writing style you would be able to figure out if I was or wasn't. tehehe Play~

As a young woman that is dating, it has become imperative to me to hold somethings sacred now that I am back in the "scene." So recently, I was having a convo with my older bestie aka my sister who we will call "Elizabeth Taylor." Pause~ For those who know or do not know Ms. Taylor there are two things that you should know. 1) She's utterly fabulous and hella smart and 2) her advice is always right on time! Play~ And I was telling her that I think Im going to be celibate. Not because I don't ever want to have sex...thats a big NO...but because Im not interested in that right now. And then she said the most profound thing to me.

"Celibacy has to be a choice fool. And unfortunately, where you are you are doing this by force..not choice."

Hmm...never thought about that. She may be right. I mean the situation with me and "man" has spiraled into a situation that is going no where fast. We kind of talk and have a few jokes as of late BUT nothing more than that. And then the other day, I went on a date with one of the men I am seeing and he did the thing I despise...invite me back to his house for a "nightcap." Pause~ Yall know how I feel about that back to the crib thing...ugh Play~ So I had to be honest with him about my feelings about the back to the house thing. He expressed appreciation for my honesty and of course tried to back track like "I wasnt going to try anything." Pause~ WHATEVER! IM FINE! YOU WAS GONNA TRY SOMETHING! Play~ Well post having that talk with him, I also let him know that I'm not having sex. And surprising enough he said he wants a relationship (cough) and was willing to cruise at the speed I wanted.

So I guess the question I have to ask myself is...

Is this celibacy thing real or the right thing for me? Or is it something that comes upon you when you decide enough is enough?

Well just something to ponder on for today. Some input from you guys would be awesome!

Lost in Thought,
Annie P

Damned If You Do....Damned If You Dont

Happy Monday blog land! I've been up early this morning because I have a great deal of work to get done this AM. However, you know I couldn't let the time pass and not give you guys a pseudo update. Today, however, Annie P isn't writing about dating but more of a friendship situation.

So I have a friend who we shall call "Penny." Penny and I have been friends for a good amount of time. Nothing crazy like over a decade but long enough to be able to share experiences, problems, job woes, etc. Penny has been married for a couple years to a man we will call Cheat. Pause~ You should already know where this story is going. Play~ Well Penny and I have recently connected and decided to go to dinner/drinks soon to catch up some more. In the midst of that conversation, I asked about Cheat and her. She of course says he's great blah blah blah. THEN, I say "Oh I'm gonna friend y'all on Facebook" Pause~ I'm really making a commitment to Facebook more. Its a challenge but its working thus far. Play~ So she tells me she is not on Facebook but Cheat is. So like any friend, I went on and friended Cheat. He responds with an inbox message stating "Hi beautiful thanks for the request."

Now, innocent me thought that he just recognized who I was and assumed nothing of that comment. Pause~ In general, I am a very pet name calling kind of girl. I usually call everyone some variation of "hun" "babes" etc. So excuse my ignorance. Play~ So that was like last week Wednesday. Fast forward to last night (Sunday), I'm sitting in the penthouse and Facebooking while watching "Sex & the City 2." Pause~ I'm so late on movies. Ever since the bed bug reports, I am too afraid to go into any movie theater in the tri-state area. Play~ So while Facebooking I noticed me and Cheat have a myriad of friends in common, and one of these "friends" happens to be a woman that I know very very very well via the party scene. So being curious I wrote to her...Here is the string of conversation.

Annie P: Hey darling! I see that you know [Cheat]. The world is too small!

Woman: Hi [Annie P]! Long long time! Yes I know [Cheat] we are dating.

Annie P: (insert shocked as hell face) Whoa! That's great! Dating? How long?

Woman: For a little while, maybe 6 months. We met and he is really sweet. We are taking things slow and I can see myself with him.

Annie P: Oh that's great. I love that everyone that I know is falling in love.

Woman: Yeah maybe me, you, [Cheat] and "man" can get together and have dinner.

Annie P: Maybe! Well I'm getting off this. Lets catch up some more later.

Now post this conversation, I really didn't know what to think. Like how can I face Penny next week and know what I know? How could [Cheat] do this? How could he be so callous? Well now I'm in a place where I do not know what to do. If I say something, I may be seen as the bad guy trying to break up their marriage. But to be honest I am just trying to not be bothered with all that. Pause~ Love my friends but my mantra since about 2006; is to never ever get in the middle of no man and no woman. You are always always going to lose! Play~

So now friends, what should I do? Any advice is welcome!

Your Friend,
Annie P

Confessions of a Brooklyn Girl - Part II

Ok so today was THE day! I got on my timed train and guess who was there...the fine man! So as per usual, I was listening to my iPod except this morning I was listening to my main man Sanchez.

Now...I was going to just say "hi" but I didn't think that was the right approach. So we road the train from Brooklyn to Manhattan and then as we were getting off at our stop, I dropped my iPod. Pause~ Don't you love when the fates align and they do something AMAZING in the sake of you meeting a fine man?! I do! Play~ So he bends down in the hustle and bustle and picks it up and gives it to me. So here is how the encounter went.

- Fine man picks up Annie P's iPod -

Annie P: Thank you!

FM: You're welcome. (smiles)

Annie P: I see you every morning. What is your name?

FM: (takes a look at me)...[Fine Man]

Annie P: Nice to meet you...my name is [Annie P]. I have been seeing you, so I figured I should introduce myself.

FM: Yes I see you every morning...dancing on the train. If you don't mind what are you listening to?

Annie P: A variety of things but mostly soca and reggae.

FM: Interesting morning music. Where do you work in this building?

Annie P: [insert company name and floor]

FM: I'm in the building over at [insert company name and floor]

Annie P: Oh ok. You must be a [insert profession]. Well it was great meeting you.

FM: And I see you know a lot about [insert sector]. It is nice meeting you as well. Hope I see you on Monday.

Annie P: Same time..same door

FM: (smiles) Pause~ His smile is ON POINT! Play~ Well do you have a card?

Annie P: Pause~ DAMN!!!!!! Left my card holder at home! Play~ No but I can take yours.

FM: (pulls out card out of Ferragamo wallet) Pause~ I'm no label whore. However, due to my friendship with a good friend of mine, DE, I am well informed on men's apparel and accessories. Times like this I am glad that he makes me go on shopping trips with him. Play~  Are you going to call?

Annie P: Yes I will.

FM: Time to get to my desk. Hope to hear from you.

Annie P: Me too. Have a good day.

- End Scene -

OH....MY...GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So now I have this card staring at me on my desk. And its not one of those cheap business cards...its one of those good paper/card stock business cards. So now the question is do I call or email today? Or rather do I just wait to call tomorrow? Pause~ I'm usually not flustered by anything such as this; however, this seems very orchestrated. So I need to have calculated moves. Hmm Play~

Anyway readers, I guess the mystery about who he is, is over. I will update you all on the progress.

Signing off,
Detective Annie P