As a young woman that is dating, it has become imperative to me to hold somethings sacred now that I am back in the "scene." So recently, I was having a convo with my older bestie aka my sister who we will call "Elizabeth Taylor." Pause~ For those who know or do not know Ms. Taylor there are two things that you should know. 1) She's utterly fabulous and hella smart and 2) her advice is always right on time! Play~ And I was telling her that I think Im going to be celibate. Not because I don't ever want to have sex...thats a big NO...but because Im not interested in that right now. And then she said the most profound thing to me.
"Celibacy has to be a choice fool. And unfortunately, where you are you are doing this by force..not choice."
Hmm...never thought about that. She may be right. I mean the situation with me and "man" has spiraled into a situation that is going no where fast. We kind of talk and have a few jokes as of late BUT nothing more than that. And then the other day, I went on a date with one of the men I am seeing and he did the thing I despise...invite me back to his house for a "nightcap." Pause~ Yall know how I feel about that back to the crib thing...ugh Play~ So I had to be honest with him about my feelings about the back to the house thing. He expressed appreciation for my honesty and of course tried to back track like "I wasnt going to try anything." Pause~ WHATEVER! IM FINE! YOU WAS GONNA TRY SOMETHING! Play~ Well post having that talk with him, I also let him know that I'm not having sex. And surprising enough he said he wants a relationship (cough) and was willing to cruise at the speed I wanted.
So I guess the question I have to ask myself is...
Is this celibacy thing real or the right thing for me? Or is it something that comes upon you when you decide enough is enough?
Well just something to ponder on for today. Some input from you guys would be awesome!
Lost in Thought,
Annie P
You of all people should already know what I'm going to say... Being that I was celibate for so loooonnnnnggggg lol (If you can call it that)
ReplyDeleteBut seriously I'm all for celibacy for YOU... You may find that the first couple of months are hard but it may lead you to discover things about yourself and the people you're dating that might have have eluded you prior to celibacy. Especially now that you're dating and dating multiples at once it may be time for you to try something new and celibacy is it :)
I FIRMLY SUPPORT IF IT IS YOUR CHOICE!
Sheila B. over and out
Of course your sister's advice was epic. It's true. Celibacy is a choice. Just not getting any is something different.
ReplyDeleteAND I think it's a choice that oughta be made after serious consideration. It's hella hoes runnin' round here saying they're celibate when what they mean is they haven't met anyone willing (or worthy... I'll give a hoe that) to get it in.
It's not a bad idea, especially after a longterm relationship... Time to regroup and replan sans all the ish that can come with sex.