Happy Monday blog land! I've been up early this morning because I have a great deal of work to get done this AM. However, you know I couldn't let the time pass and not give you guys a pseudo update. Today, however, Annie P isn't writing about dating but more of a friendship situation.
So I have a friend who we shall call "Penny." Penny and I have been friends for a good amount of time. Nothing crazy like over a decade but long enough to be able to share experiences, problems, job woes, etc. Penny has been married for a couple years to a man we will call Cheat. Pause~ You should already know where this story is going. Play~ Well Penny and I have recently connected and decided to go to dinner/drinks soon to catch up some more. In the midst of that conversation, I asked about Cheat and her. She of course says he's great blah blah blah. THEN, I say "Oh I'm gonna friend y'all on Facebook" Pause~ I'm really making a commitment to Facebook more. Its a challenge but its working thus far. Play~ So she tells me she is not on Facebook but Cheat is. So like any friend, I went on and friended Cheat. He responds with an inbox message stating "Hi beautiful thanks for the request."
Now, innocent me thought that he just recognized who I was and assumed nothing of that comment. Pause~ In general, I am a very pet name calling kind of girl. I usually call everyone some variation of "hun" "babes" etc. So excuse my ignorance. Play~ So that was like last week Wednesday. Fast forward to last night (Sunday), I'm sitting in the penthouse and Facebooking while watching "Sex & the City 2." Pause~ I'm so late on movies. Ever since the bed bug reports, I am too afraid to go into any movie theater in the tri-state area. Play~ So while Facebooking I noticed me and Cheat have a myriad of friends in common, and one of these "friends" happens to be a woman that I know very very very well via the party scene. So being curious I wrote to her...Here is the string of conversation.
Annie P: Hey darling! I see that you know [Cheat]. The world is too small!
Woman: Hi [Annie P]! Long long time! Yes I know [Cheat] we are dating.
Annie P: (insert shocked as hell face) Whoa! That's great! Dating? How long?
Woman: For a little while, maybe 6 months. We met and he is really sweet. We are taking things slow and I can see myself with him.
Annie P: Oh that's great. I love that everyone that I know is falling in love.
Woman: Yeah maybe me, you, [Cheat] and "man" can get together and have dinner.
Annie P: Maybe! Well I'm getting off this. Lets catch up some more later.
Now post this conversation, I really didn't know what to think. Like how can I face Penny next week and know what I know? How could [Cheat] do this? How could he be so callous? Well now I'm in a place where I do not know what to do. If I say something, I may be seen as the bad guy trying to break up their marriage. But to be honest I am just trying to not be bothered with all that. Pause~ Love my friends but my mantra since about 2006; is to never ever get in the middle of no man and no woman. You are always always going to lose! Play~
So now friends, what should I do? Any advice is welcome!
Your Friend,
Annie P
I'm with you on never come between a man and a woman on their affairs because it's always messy. Yours and Penny's newly found friendship may not survive the aftermath of you saying anything...
ReplyDeleteIf "Woman" on the other hand is your "friend". You do have to let her know that you know for sure that Cheat is married and let her make her decision from there! ("Hey woman, I happen to know that Cheat is married and as your friend thought it would be a piece of information you should be privy to. Do with it as you please!)... Something along those lines...
You will have done your duty as a friend without having broken up anyone's marriage! And I may go as far as to say you helped Penny because "Woman" will most likely break the affair (HOPEFULLY)
As for dealing with Penny there is no right or wrong way to do it. It's your decision as to whether or not you want to tell her that her husband has been dating someone else for the past 6 months. Me personally if it wasn't one of the handful of really close friends that I have I would leave it alone!
... But I'm known for staying out of people's businesses especially when it make me feel uncomfortable... "The messenger almost always dies"
I know people love to say "I don't want to be in that mess" but I would say something. Especially since I have evidence and know specifics and don't come with some vague information. I would say what I had to say than tip out of it. lol I wouldn't be going back and forth with either of them. Because I know if it was me, I would want to know if my hubby is cheating. Maybe say something to the woman he's cheating with. Or create a fake FB page and send her an anonymous message telling her that her "boyfriend" is married. If my friend's husband is cheating on her and I know about it, I'm telling her. What she does with the information is on her. Then again it is important that you understand your audience because women are complicated.
ReplyDeleteAlso it depends on the type of relationship we have. Some people confuse the words "friend" and "associate". I'm telling a friend!
Girl good luck!